A Cutters Story

I’m going to get very real for a moment. No jokes, no laughs, just truth. With the release of “Thirteen Reasons Why” I think it’s important to talk about this. If you may be triggered by self harm, please turn away now.

I am a cutter. I say am because although it has been any years (since November of 2009 to be exact) I will always bare the scars that adorn my body in various places. I will always catch sideways looks when people see them and my kids will always question what they are. For a long time this really bothered me. That’s why at first I attempted to cover them with tattoos in hopes people wouldn’t notice. But the reality is, maybe if people did notice that would open the door for conversation. Self harm is such a taboo topic but it is SO prevalent in our teenagers, and even some adults! You cannot turn a blind eye and expect it to go away because it just doesn’t.

 

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Many years later and my scars are still telling my story.

 

I was made fun of a LOT in high school, literally to the point where people would write rude words on my locker. Things like “dyke, slut, bitch, ugly whore”. People would make fun of my teeth or my glasses. To some of you this may not seem like anything, even watching the show my husband made the comment “she’s taking everything way to personal and she’s so dramatic”. The fact is that it IS personal! What some may see as innocent others find detrimental. Those people in high school had a huge impact on who I am today. It was the bullying that led me to cutting to begin with. What started as an innocent joke sent a teenage girl into deep depression.

I’m not telling you this because I want you to feel bad for me, I don’t! I have survived. I now have a great life and thick skin. I still get made fun of for my weight and my teeth but I’ve learned that people are just cruel. I’m telling you this because you need to know that your “innocent” jokes aren’t so innocent. That making fun of someone for ANY reason is NOT okay! You never truly know what is going on in that person’s life or how they are feeling. You never know the impact that your harsh words may have on a person’s life. Think before you speak.

If you come across someone who may self harm, talk to them. Try to understand them. I owe my life to my husband Seth¬†and Mrs. Walter’s (High school

¬†social worker). They saved me on more occasions than one. Be the positive that someone needs rather than another negative. Life is hard without bullying, let’s not make it worse.

Parents, if this if your child, seek help immediately! I wish more people would have stepped in and provided the support I needed. This is a real issue and should not be ignored. I’m not going to tell you it will be easy, because its not, but I promise they will thank you later!

 

Much Love,

SHM