Adventures and Misfortunes of Twinhood

Tonight something happened to me that I just have to laugh at. One of those belly aching laughs that you can’t control. I literally laughed so hard I was crying big crocodile tears. If you have issues with anything gross that’s baby related this is not the blog post for you.

I would not say we are the definition of attachment parenting  but we do tend to lean that way a bit. So once a week or so I like to enjoy some play time with my 1 year olds in the bath. It also makes bath time easier as my growing belly makes it hard to bend that far anymore. Its kind of their special mommy time.  Tonight was that one night of the week. We were all preparing to get in the tub when my husband walks in and gasps. I turn quickly because he’s not the overly dramatic type and what do I find? Not just ONE baby is sitting on the bathroom floor rolling in feces but TWO babies are sitting in the floor rolling in one of their poops. Now which baby did the deed the world may never know. How my pregnant nose did not catch them before this point is astounding to me.

I wanted to be mad. I wanted to puke my guts out but there they were, covered from head to toe in baby poop, wide eyed and wearing a big ole grin. How, even at this very horrible point in time, can you look at them and not laugh or enjoy the pure innocence of these children? Only at one will they do such silly things and it be so comical. I couldn’t help but giggle hysterically as my husband and I cleaned them off and he continuously groaned saying “this is SO nasty!”. He didn’t find the humor in it but I sure did.

After having cleaned up their mess we finished our bath with more giggles and laughs. My husband just kept asking if I wanted to bathe with two poopy babies. As if I would let that stop me.  I’m scared of two things in life and poop isn’t one of them. Probably why the big man upstairs decided I needed so many kids so close together. Only the strong can overcome the poop messes. Ha!

Being a twin mom has its very hard days. But I have learned that if you do not laugh at the little things it makes the big things ten times harder to overcome. So laugh it off and enjoy their innocence while it lasts.  A little poop never hurt anyone after all. 😉 Haha.

 

Much love from me and these goofy little boys. 🙂

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Kids VS. Technology

I was sitting in the bathroom bathing my kids when my phone went off. I knew it wasn’t anyone important but the little light on my phone was driving me crazy. I couldn’t help but check it. It was almost as if it was an involuntary reflex. As if my mind was saying “Don’t worry about it” but my hand was craving for it, almost as if it was a drug and I the addict. I turned away from the bath for just a  few seconds. Do you know how fast a child can drown in the bath tub? Less than 10 seconds. In the few seconds it took me to reach and get my phone (which WAS in the bathroom with us) my child, or all three of them, could have died. It was in that moment I decided no amount of technology was worth losing one of my children.

After getting them from the bath I did a little experiment. I sat in their bedroom floor with a pen and paper and decided to set a timer. It was 6:22pm. The timer was to go off at 6:40. I sat and observed my children playing and wrote down every time one of them came to me, looked at me, or spoke to me in those 18 minutes.

These are just two of the pages of things I wrote down in the 18 minutes I was sitting in the floor. Had I been on my phone or on the computer this would have been 18 minutes of cuddles, laughs, waves, touches, and play that I would have missed out on. The sad reality is that how many times throughout the day have they tried to do those things and I been to “busy” to notice? How many nights have they wanted cuddles but something on Facebook caught my attention first?

Technology is an amazing thing. It has helped save so many lives and provided people with opportunities that they may have not had before. There is no doubt that technology CAN benefit the world but it can also harm just as quickly.

The average American from the ages of 25-54 spends about 4.7 hours a day on their phones and social media sites. That is 4.7 hours a day we could be spending with our children rather than those on social media. 4.7 hours is a HUGE chunk of the day simply wasted away for what reason? Social interaction? Is it worth ignoring your children for?

I am just as guilty of this as anyone else. It wasn’t until last night that I realize just exactly how strong my “bond” was with my phone. When it is lost I panic. When I cannot answer I stress that it was something important. I even lay next to my husband at night ignoring him for Facebook.

I will be this way NO MORE! My goal is to go on a 30 social media black out! I have shut down all of my social media sites and other than the blog plan on staying off of my phone and the computer. I want to see just how much I can improve the lives of my children as well as mine and my husbands.

I want to play with my children more. Love them more. Put them first above everything except their daddy. And I want to improve my marriage. I want to be able to lay in bed and have sex instead of reaching for my phone. I want to have a conversation with my husband instead of those on my social media sites. I want to focus on what is IN my house rather than what is outside of it.

Are you willing to take this challenge with me and see just how much your life/family improves as well? I would love to hear from you!

 

Much love,

SHM

 

What causes that?

As a mother of three boys and clearly pregnant with another we get a lot of comments from strangers. I have heard it all!

“Are they twins?”

“Are your twins maternal or paternal?”

“Are they identical? They don’t look identical.”

“Are you creating a football team?”

“Were they test tube babies?”

“Big brother is so close in age I bet he’s jealous of them right?”

“Were they all planned?”

“Are you trying to match 19 kids and counting?”

 

When I say I have heard it all I really have. I’ve also gotten some not so nice comments like “Look at that dumb young mom?”. Usually I can shrug rude comments off. At 25 with soon to be 4 kids I have learned to ignore the rude comments. Humans can be cruel and judgmental. Why let them bring me down?

Last night we were walking through Walmart when a older gentleman (I’ll call him that instead of the million of things I WANT to call him) walked up to our growing family of 5 and said to my husband “Don’t you know what causes that?”. Without another thought my husband looked at him and said “Nope. Haven’t figured it out yet.” He handled the situation pretty smoothly.

I have 3 kids and a protruding belly. I get it. I’m a walking freak show with screaming toddlers, the prego waddle, and the messy mommy bun because we all know I didn’t have time to brush my own hair before walking out the door. Hey, my boys look like they are dressed to meet the President so who cares what I look like right? I get these kind of comments all the time but this particular guy rubbed me the wrong way.

I was looking at my husband when I decided that from now on when responding to this question I would be VERY honest. Are you asking if I know that intercourse causes babies? Why yes, yes I do but I just love my husband to much to give it up. 😉 After all, in order to have a happy home you have to have a happy husband.

Since when is it appropriate to talk about my sex life in public or in front of my children? They don’t need to know where they came from yet! Sheesh man. I’m not ready for that conversation just yet. Give me a few years! Dang!

Really though, my question to all you parents out there is: What is your response when people ask these questions? I am needing some new witty things to say back to them! Hit me with your best shot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Real truth about PPD

Im sorry for the long post in advance.

 

 

Postpartum Depression can strike at any time and comes unannounced hitting like a lightening bolt in your life. At least that’s what happened to me and my family.

 

For the longest time I was scared to come out and acknowledge my problem.  I denied even having one. It wasn’t until that very scary thought crept into my brain that I really feared for my sanity, my life, and my children. That was the moment I decided I needed to talk to someone.

 

I’m going to share my story with you in hopes to educate and let others know that they are not alone in this fight. Postpartum Depression is nothing to be ashamed of and asking for help, or simply just talking to someone about it, could save you and/or your children’s life.

 

My story began after my twins were born. I came home to a three year old who didn’t quite understand that he was no longer an only child and two premie twins. I had ended up having a vaginal delivery with one twin resulting in an episiotomy and my second twin had to be taken by emergency cesarean section. So on top of three kids I was healing from two different sets of stitches and found myself completely alone the first week home. My husband had to go straight back to work and we did not have any family to help during recovery. I felt utterly alone.

 

The first few weeks were not bad. They actually were more of a blur than anything. I was up every 2 hours to pump, feed, change, and sooth two babies mostly alone. My husband helped when he didn’t work. It was about 6 weeks in that the extreme exhaustion set in. I was tired and moody. I wasn’t happy to have two babies and often asked God why he thought I could handle it.

 

In the midst of one of our REALLY long days full of crying fits, temper tantrums, poopy diapers, and baby puke I managed to get 5 seconds to take a bath. That was until my husband brought me a baby to wash while I was there. I sat there breastfeeding that beautiful little boy in the bath and felt absolutely no emotion. How could I create something so perfect and feel as if he was nothing but a burden?

 

After having feed, washed, and cuddled this tiny human that MY body created I passed him off to his daddy to finish my bath.   I looked down at my now “ruined” body and began sobbing. I sat in that bath for a good twenty minutes trying to compose myself but the longer I sat the worse I felt. It was that night this very thought crept into my brain and planted an ugly seed. Sitting in that bath I began to think how leaving this world could be the end to my loneliness.  How I thought it would make my husband and children happier. And I began thinking of ways to take my own life.

 

I’ve never been more thankful for such an attentive husband than I was that night.  I got out of the shower ran straight in the bedroom to my husband and three beautiful boys. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore *and am crying as I type this* and I spilled my guts to him. All 5 of us sat crying and cuddling for atleast an hour before my husband looked up from me and said “Tell me what to do to help”. I didn’t know how to respond and I don’t think he actually needed an answer.

 

That night he got up with the boys alone letting me sleep for more an 2 hours at a time. He started helping out around the house and going out of his way to do things to make me happy. He also would call to check in on me and the boys throughout the day. He would stay up late talking me through my feelings and reassured me that I wasn’t lacking love for those little twins. I was just overly stressed and it would get better. The thought of suicide crept up at my worst times but I was open with my husband and he was supportive in all the right ways.

 

Our twins are a year old and our oldest is 4 now and I sometimes cannot believe that I ever thought about leaving them behind. They are the highlight of my life and truly are my greatest blessings. Exhaustion and depression are not a joke. Postpartum Depression effects more mothers than you realize. You are not alone! If you are having these feelings please please please talk to someone about it. It doesn’t have to be your spouse, it can be anyone. Just opening up and having that support can save your life. It did mine.

 

To the Mom of Boys

To the mom of boys:
I would like to say it gets easier but it doesn’t. From the moment they are peeing in your lap to the moment they move out and start peeing on their OWN toilet seat it is hard. You fight to raise the perfect man and sometimes question your ability to do so. But let me tell you that you are doing great! As a woman raising a boy into a man is hard. We are not built the same, we are not built the same, and surely we don’t think the same. Its hard but you are doing it and you are fantastic!

There will be days when you get so tired of cleaning up the muddy floors or don’t want to clean off one more knee scrape. There will be days when you scream “aim for the toilet and not the floor” or “stop touching that thing or it will fall off!” but those days are minimal. There will also be a day when you can’t remember the last time you had to scream that. The hard days don’t last. They may seem never ending now but when you look back they will be but a speck in the grand scheme of life. Your kitchen cabinets will stay stocked, your bathroom will stay clean, there will no longer be mounds of laundry to do. He won’t always want to sit in your lap. He won’t be crying on your shoulder anymore. One day you will look at your little boy and realize that he’s not a little boy anymore. Because one day he won’t be. He will be a grown man  yelling those same things at his own little boy. Kissing his booboos and providing for his family. One day you won’t be the one taking care of him, she will. Those days come sooner than you realize.

For now enjoy the cute, cuddly, little boy you have sitting next to you picking his boogers. You will miss this and it comes sooner than you think. You will never know when the “last time” will be but it will come and you won’t realize it until after it is gone.

 

 

To the sad SAHM

 

“Just stay home” they said. “It will be fun” they said. “You will love it” they said. Well excuse me for a moment but WHO THE HELL ARE ‘THEY’?!

Don’t get me wrong. Being a stay at home mom is a blessing. We are fortunate enough to be able to afford for me to stay home with our children as I had always dreamed I would. The idea of being a stay at home mother is amazing. I will cook fancy dinners, make sure the house is organized and spotless at all times, my husband will never go without a warm meal and clean clothes and blah blah blah. In my head I had planned out this fantasy world that we would live in where everything would be perfect.

 

When reality hit I was not expecting it. My husband came home and there were dirty dishes in the sink, two out of three of our children were crying in the floor and I was sitting right along with them sobbing my eyes out. I was up with sick twins twice every hour of the night, up early with the third who demanded Youtube videos before the sun was up, and I was beginning to get sick. All day the twins demanded to be held and screeched when I walked out of sight to pee in peace, as if that’s a thing in our house. I had forgotten to take something out for dinner and was feeling really bad. So after their ten billionth melt down of the day I decided we all needed to sit and just cry together. So that is where my poor husband found us, all sitting on the floor together in a puddle of tears.

 

It was that night that I realized that I was suffering in silence. I had built up this beautiful life in my head and when I was not able to live up to that fairy tale I wasn’t sure how to deal. I had gotten into a slump. I stopped caring about myself and my happiness and I put everyone and everything first. I didn’t realize until that day just how hard being a stay at home parent, or just a parent in general, could take a toll on you physically and mentally. I was sad. I was tired. I was beat down and underappreciated. The thing is, I was doing it to myself! My husband is a great provider and a nurturer. I knew that if I went to him and told him how I felt he would be 100% supportive in every way but I didn’t want to burden him with ‘home life’. After all he was the sole provider for our family and had enough going on. As long as he was taken care of and our kids were happy that I would ‘make do’.

 

To the sad stay at home mom:
I know how you feel. I know that you love your kids more than anything else in the world. I know you want to do what is best for them and sometimes that means putting yourself on the back burner but not ALWAYS. You, Mom, are important too! Your happiness and your health is just as important as that of your husband and your childrens. You deserve happiness. If mommy isn’t happy how do you expect to raise happy children? They will feed off of your energy. It’s ok to be tired, to have a bad day, to fall down but always always ALWAYS get back up and do what is good for you. Don’t read them that second bedtime story, they wont remember it tomorrow. Go take a hot shower and enjoy the quiet. Learn to love yourself and put yourself first again. Love yourself so you can love them better. It may not seem important but having a happy mother is more important to your children than you may realize. Know your worth. You are irreplaceable. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You MATTER too!

 

Below I have provided a list of things that I have found help me on the days when I feel utterly helpless. Give a few a try. They say it takes atleast 30 days to create a routine. So if it doesn’t work right away don’t give up! Try it out for at least a month!

 

  • Take a hot shower after the kids go to bed. Enjoy some alone time.
  • Read a book. Start a new hobby. Do something with no other purpose other than to make you happy.
  • Walk out of the room. When your kids are screaming and you feel like you are losing your mind it is OKAY to walk away for a moment and breathe. Gather yourself before returning.
  • Once a month plan a date night. Get a babysitter and plan a night to get dressed up and do something you enjoy with the man you love.
  • Take a walk. Get out in the fresh air and walk around the block. It has been proven that the sun itself can be an antidepressant.
  • Stay OFF social media sights. You can get too caught up with what everyone else has/is doing that you forget how blessed YOU are.
  • Plan mommy and me dates. Take them out for ice cream. Watch them smile. Let them be a source of your happiness as well.
  • Turn up the music and dance. Dance alone. Dance with your spouse. Dance with your kids. Just dance. Feel the music and enjoy yourself.
  • Get dressed in the mornings. Its easy to get busy and forget to take care of yourself but getting up and getting ready will help the way that you feel about yourself.
  • Schedule play dates somewhere other than home. Get out with your kids and have some adult time with other like minded Moms who can semi relate to what you are going through. It gives your kids time to play and burn energy and gives you the social time that every mommy needs.

 

Do you have specific things you do to brighten your day and make it a good one? Care to share? Please leave a comment! We would love to hear from you!